The reinvention, the phoenix rising. Apparently those born with the sun in Scorpio go through this burn out/fly up periodically. A regular Micheal Finnigan. More like the result of chronic neuroses. Does my work show how much I love the light and color of the World?. Am I a wise woman? Starting again is a habit. I have so much started and never finished. So many folders of ideas that never went anywhere. The follow through to a place where I have an offering is elusive but really just a show of a jumpy and un-grounded, uncertain, distracted cranial constitution. Am I different now, collapsed or expanded? Probably a bit of a mixture, which makes for a queer image of a body that mimics the topography of a lime stone upland. Seth Godin in his interview with Chase Jarvis has got me going again. They talked about turning up day after day to 'the practice' and something will emerge. I have before arrived to a daily meditation practice (6 months), a yoga practice (on and OFF 10 years), an art course here and there (mostly an annual something) and when I have a project to deliver, the art studio. Seth has turned up daily to post what is now over 7500 Blogs. But what about the in-between. The hyphen. I believe in making it simple, all of it. Food, clothes, living space, art. But looking at it now everything is SO fragmented and bitty. Woolly like an old jumper, comfortable, cosy even but hardly popping with vim and vitality. The hyphen now filled with Netflix.
I'm 60 next year so this is about rounding it all up and finding the thread that if I hold on tight will lead me up the mountain. This is my morning pages, spontaneous drawing, VLOG whatever. In time it might give me a hint of how to get on the middle path away from the yo-yo, ping-pong or fear frozen disillusionment. That's the point Seth was making. Not going back but firmly facing North and daily just showing up. Crouching tiger, Hidden dragon.